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A Fishing Story
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A Fishing Story Here in Michigan people take pride in and bitch endlessly about the weather. Surrounded by the Great Lakes, if you don't care much for the weather you're currently experiencing, wait five minutes- likely it'll change. Drivers here like to claim that we have two seasons- winter and road construction. Although there are some hard assed individuals who love the cold weather (Like me!) and still go fishing on frozen lakes, summer is for fishing and winter is for snowmobiling. I'm not fan of snowmobiles. They're noisy as hell and the drivers always trespass and run over fruit tree seedlings. It's dangerous too. Fishing however, is a quiet, laid back, easygoing and time-honored sport, celebrated in seventeenth century England by Izaak Walton in "The Compleat Angler" and in twentieth century America by Richard Brautigan in "Trout Fishing in America". Each may be considered a sort of philosophical treatise, as may be the following. On a hot June day, three men went fishing and, as the day began to really warm up, they really started swilling the beer in the coolers, which helps to explain why they were still out fishing in the middle of the day when fish are not biting, and when the speedboats are out and about. They soon got pretty irritated by the power boats, creating big wakes and stirring up the water, not to mention the racket. Finally one boat seemed to come close on purpose, likely the result of the owner swigging his own beer. The fisherman in the middle of the bass boat stood up and shook his fist and swore at the speedboat, but its wake rocked the boat and he spilled right into the water. The guy in the back of the boat said he thought they should help him back into the boat, but the other fisherman said "No, I've fished with this asshole before. He's just clowning around, splashing and floundering around like he's in trouble. He's just trying to get us wet. He's a jerk when he's drinking." A minute later the guy in the water went under, and didn't come back up. The guy in the back of the boat said "C'mon! we gotta help him now!" But the other guy said "No- I'm telling you, he's just fucking with us. In a minute he'll see we aren't panicking and he'll come back up and get back in the boat. Fuck him!" After another minute the guy in the back of the boat thought it had gone on just a bit too long, and couldn't take it anymore. He pulled off his shoes and dove into the lake, swimming down to look for his fishing buddy. But the speedboats had the weeds and mud stirred up and he couldn't see his hand in front of his face. Suddenly, he got lucky, and feeling around in the gloom he grabbed the drowning man's foot! He surfaced with his partner in tow and they wrassled him into the boat, and the guy in the front of the boat immediately started doing mouth to mouth resuscitation on his friend. After a few blows into his mouth, the resuscitator backed up sputtering and spitting and said "Goddamn, his breath stinks! I didn't notice he smelled so bad this morning!" And the other guy, still wiping water and lake weeds from his face, said "No. Come to think of it, I don't remember him wearing a snowmobile suit either." Become a member now and get a free tote bag. |
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Visit my blog It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World of NaughtyInSO, leave a comment, become a watcher. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LIVE AND LET LIVE Be happy! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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disgusting and hilarious all at the same time!!!
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Now you had me laughing for today.. hugsssssssssss V too funny Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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So this is a story, ultimately, about pulling a body from a river? *Shrug* 'Round these parts, we call that Tuesday. (Yes, yes, funny and sick...) Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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Yes! There are people who actually drive snowmobiles on thin ice around here, and drunken attempts to drive them on...NO ICE, just water. "Hold muh beer an watch this!" We are better off with them under the ice, where it is unlikely that they will reproduce. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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And every winter some rocket scientist on a snowmobile hits one. Snowmobiles move far faster than the brains of most of their operators, especially after six or eight brews. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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This is probably a common event in your neck of the woods, Addz. Snowmobiles and Manitoba go together like beer and pizza, don't they? Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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I would guess that you are no stranger to submerged snowmobilers either. They oughta ride those things with scuba gear. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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disgusting and hilarious all at the same time!!! Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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Now you had me laughing for today.. hugsssssssssss V too funny  Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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So this is a story, ultimately, about pulling a body from a river? *Shrug* 'Round these parts, we call that Tuesday. (Yes, yes, funny and sick...) Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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Thank you very much! Thank you! Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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Well that was gross! Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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A careful reader will note that the setting for my story is a lake...but yes, gentle reader, you have the gist of it. Was that John D. MacDonald or Elmore Leonard? Last winter we lost a cross country skier on Asylum Lake. They found him in spring. I've skied lakes and discovered water before- it's an unsettling feeling. I was over shallow water but it isn't fun getting soaked at ten degrees in a snowstorm far from home. However, I did discover the spring that fed the lake. (I always liked Spaulding Gray's characterization of Manhattan as "A little island off the coast of America. Yep...) Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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I am on an island, mon: We ain't got lakes, we got rivers. I was adapting for local geography. (I always liked Spaulding Gray's characterization of Manhattan as "A little island off the coast of America. Yep...) Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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Thank you my dear- I am pleased to please you! Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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I had a Malemute dog who loved beer and pizza. He hated snowmobiles and refused to pull a sled. He was a regular Jake LaMotta in a fight but did not realize he was classified as a "working" dog. He was apparently miscast. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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That is hilarious! Well... yea it is hilarious lol. I am totally freaked out on ice... when it starts cracking, I start running lol. Even when you drill through it and see it is a foot thick I still do not feel safe. Riding a snowmobile would freak me out even more... though I found out later that we rode on a lake for almost an entire day when out west. You would never know it was the somewhat scary part! Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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A lot of these guys are not that bright to begin with, and none of them are outdoorsmen. They make Red Green look like an intellectual giant. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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I love Red Green. He is Canada's main cultural contribution to the world at large. The USA gave the world Jimi Hendrix and Robin Williams, Canada gave us Guy Lombardo and Red Green. Seriously...Red Green is seriously funny. I think he must really be a Yooper. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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sometimes when I have played The Good Samaritan, i too have felt like these rescuers. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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That's my kind of black humor!  
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That's my kind of black humor! Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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You kinda don't even want to lick your lips after reading that, huh? Might be some other lips stuck to them. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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People who think Michigan has boring weather should move to Minnesota. They would probably need a dictionary to decipher the weather terminology initially. There they can get together with their buddies trying to figure out whether the weather of the day was a straight line, derecho or a squall line until they pass out from drinking. Storms Inflict Derecho-like Damage Across 800-Mile Stretch From Minnesota to Kentucky By Alex Sosnowski, AccuWeather.com Senior Meteorologist A long-lived complex of thunderstorms formed over the Upper Midwest Sunday evening and dissolved over the southern Appalachians on Monday night, but was the complex a derecho? According to AccuWeather Meteorologist Meghan Mussoline, "A derecho is often referred to as an inland hurricane, in terms of ferocious wind and torrential rain." More specifically, the Storm Prediction Center (SPC) describes a derecho as a complex of severe thunderstorms that must travel along a path of at least 240 miles with widespread and long-lived... Straight-line winds refer to non-tornado-produced winds. In the case of the event spanning Sunday evening, July 12, to Monday night, July 13, there were approximately 550 reports of damaging winds. However, in many cases the wind speed that caused the damage is not specifically known. During the morning rush hour Monday, wind gusts had slipped back around the Chicago metro area, but by the midday hours on Monday, the storms were producing gusts near 60 mph once again as they approached Indianapolis. The storms weakened moving into the Louisville, Kentucky, and Cincinnati areas. The storms then weakened considerably moving into North Carolina and south-central Virginia by Tuesday morning. When trees come down, they often take power lines with them. Utilities reported more than 150,000 power outages along the path of the storms. As a result of the cycling of the strength of the complex of the storms, SPC has not as of this writing referred to the event as a derecho, but rather a squall line. "Rules for happiness: something to do, someone to love, something to hope for.”― Immanuel Kant .
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People who think Michigan has boring weather should move to Minnesota. They would probably need a dictionary to decipher the weather terminology initially. There they can get together with their buddies trying to figure out whether the weather of the day was a straight line, derecho or a squall line until they pass out from drinking.Storms Inflict Derecho-like Damage Across 800-Mile Stretch From Minnesota to Kentucky By Alex Sosnowski, AccuWeather.com Senior Meteorologist A long-lived complex of thunderstorms formed over the Upper Midwest Sunday evening and dissolved over the southern Appalachians on Monday night, but was the complex a derecho? According to AccuWeather Meteorologist Meghan Mussoline, "A derecho is often referred to as an inland hurricane, in terms of ferocious wind and torrential rain." More specifically, the Storm Prediction Center (SPC) describes a derecho as a complex of severe thunderstorms that must travel along a path of at least 240 miles with widespread and long-lived... Straight-line winds refer to non-tornado-produced winds. In the case of the event spanning Sunday evening, July 12, to Monday night, July 13, there were approximately 550 reports of damaging winds. However, in many cases the wind speed that caused the damage is not specifically known. During the morning rush hour Monday, wind gusts had slipped back around the Chicago metro area, but by the midday hours on Monday, the storms were producing gusts near 60 mph once again as they approached Indianapolis. The storms weakened moving into the Louisville, Kentucky, and Cincinnati areas. The storms then weakened considerably moving into North Carolina and south-central Virginia by Tuesday morning. When trees come down, they often take power lines with them. Utilities reported more than 150,000 power outages along the path of the storms. As a result of the cycling of the strength of the complex of the storms, SPC has not as of this writing referred to the event as a derecho, but rather a squall line. [image] Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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I love intellectual  jokes is this one is very well written and it is a good one!Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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Wasn't just . . . gross for sure Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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Hahahahaha, that's very good - love it  Between Heaven & Hell - My Kingdom Guestbook and Messages box
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