I remember the days...
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Posted:Feb 26, 2016 4:29 am
Last Updated:Mar 4, 2016 4:58 am
8400 Views
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A college professor in an anatomy class asked his students to sketch a naked man.
As the professor walked around the class checking the sketches he noticed that a sexy young coed had sketched the man with an erect penis.
The professor commented, "Oh, no, I wanted it the other way."
She replied, "What other way?"
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On the clock?
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Posted:Feb 16, 2016 4:50 am
Last Updated:Mar 1, 2016 4:51 am
9655 Views
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Work has been insane lately. No time to post or read much. Hopefully after the middle of March things dial down. Until then...
My new neighbors, the two cute, young lesbians next door, asked me what I would like as a welcoming gift. I was quite surprised, when they gave me a Timex! It was very nice of them, but I'm pretty sure that they misunderstood me when I said: "I wanna watch!"
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6
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Too honest Abe?
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Posted:Feb 5, 2016 4:01 am
Last Updated:Feb 13, 2016 5:02 am
10726 Views
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Dressed Up
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An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard sat down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked, "Going to a Halloween party?"
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"Yeah," the man answered, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life."
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"But you look like Abe Lincoln," protested the barkeep.
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"That's right. ...My last four scores were seven years ago."
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2
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A rose by any other name doesn't get you laid
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Posted:Jan 30, 2016 6:43 am
Last Updated:Feb 4, 2016 4:41 am
11082 Views
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What is Celibacy?
Celibacy can be a choice in life or a condition imposed by circumstances.
While attending a Marriage Weekend, Frank and his wife Ann listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other." He then addressed the men. "Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?"
Frank leaned over, touched Ann's arm gently, and whispered, "Gold Medal -All-Purpose, isn't it?"
And thus began Frank's life of celibacy.
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2
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Urban Dictionary to the rescue
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Posted:Jan 24, 2016 6:31 am
Last Updated:Jan 30, 2016 6:40 am
12110 Views
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auto erect
When text is auto-corrected into something sexual.
"I'm excited to be eating dick tonight!" *duck I mean duck what an auto erect
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3
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Never put it in writing...
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Posted:Jan 22, 2016 4:06 pm
Last Updated:Jan 23, 2016 2:22 pm
12348 Views
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Peeing in the Snow
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One winter day, Fred's neighbor Sam, came up to Fred's door and started pounding on it.
Fred answered the door. "Sam, what's up?" he said.
Sam angrily replied, "That no good of yours has been peeing in the snow in my yard!"
Fred asked, "How do you know it was my ?"
Sam answered, "He wrote his name in pee!"
"Okay," Fred replied. "I'll talk to him about it, but I have to say, I don't see what the big deal is. It's just pee in the snow. Why are you so fired up about it?"
Sam snapped back, "It's in my 's handwriting!"
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1
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Fool me once...
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Posted:Jan 21, 2016 4:36 am
Last Updated:Jan 21, 2016 5:31 pm
12365 Views
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What a fool I've been...
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1
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What IS better than sex
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Posted:Jan 15, 2016 6:49 am
Last Updated:Jan 27, 2016 4:34 am
13557 Views
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It is Friday morning and it would appear that no hoped for playful/sexy/illicit/naughty plans are going to come together for tonight. So I'm likely to go out with a plain vanilla couple to watch the replay of Super I at some bar that has NFL Network. Contrary to the opinion of my family and friends I don't think my Packers are better than sex. However if they win in AZ on Saturday I will likely be yelling like I'm cumming.
I may well slip off after tonight's broadcast to sample one of the nearby strip clubs. Tacky perhaps but I try to be respectful to the dancers and tip well. I just like hanging out with attractive scantily clad women. Those that are also smart and good conversationalists make for a fun night.
Prof
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3
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Stolen kisses
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Posted:Jan 13, 2016 5:01 am
Last Updated:Jan 18, 2016 5:34 am
12355 Views
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I have kleptomania,
but when it gets bad,
I take something for it.
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And he has nice manners...
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Posted:Jan 12, 2016 4:40 am
Last Updated:Jan 12, 2016 8:37 pm
12229 Views
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A Texan in Chicago
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A Texan went to Chicago and thought he would buy a new "city" outfit. He went into Marshall Fields, and when asked by a sweet young woman if she could help him, he answered, "Yes, ma'am. Ya' see, I'm from Texas and I want to buy a complete city outfit."
Her eyes lit up as she asked, "Where would you like to start?"
"Well, ma'am, how about a suit?"
"Yes, sir. What size?"
"Size 53 tall, ma'am."
"Wow, that's really big."
"Yes, ma'am, they really grow them big in Texas."
"What's next?" she asked.
He replied, "How about some shoes?"
"What size?"
"Size 15 double E."
"Wow, that's really big!"
"Yes, ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas."
"What's next?"
"Well, I reckon I'll need a shirt."
"Yes, sir. What size?"
"Nineteen and a half neck, sleeves 38," he replied.
"Wow, that's really big!"
"Yes, ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas."
"Will there be anything else?" she asked.
"Yes, ma'am. I 'spect I'll need a hat."
"Yes, sir. What size? and style?"
"Eight and five-eighths. Stetson."
"Wow, that's really big!"
"Yes, ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas."
She virtually glowed as she asked, "Is there anything else I can do for you?"
"No ma'am, I reckon that will be all."
As the sweet young thing tallied up his bill, and as the Texan counted out his money, she blushed and asked, "Sir, could I ask you a question?"
"Yes, ma'am, I already know what it is. And the answer is four inches."
Astonished, she blurted out, "Why, my boyfriend's is bigger than that!"
Without so much as a stutter, the Texan replied, "From the floor m'am, from the floor."
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3
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Hot and hotter
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Posted:Jan 11, 2016 5:09 pm
Last Updated:Jan 12, 2016 4:37 am
11137 Views
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I'm back and it is 80 degrees colder than where I just left. Oops.
Prof
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Limited access
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Posted:Jan 3, 2016 6:02 am
Last Updated:Jan 11, 2016 5:08 pm
11759 Views
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I'm going to have limited internet access until 1/11. I'll check in when I can.
Prof
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2
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In to Hobbits?
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Posted:Jan 1, 2016 6:12 am
Last Updated:Jan 11, 2016 6:29 pm
10620 Views
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I'm re-reading The Hobbit. Can't get the boy out of the man.
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To link to this blog (Prof10001) use [blog Prof10001] in your messages.
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