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The Monster Truck Dildo.  

SilyconBond 53M
265 posts
2/9/2021 7:14 pm

Last Read:
2/14/2021 1:14 pm

The Monster Truck Dildo.


I was doing my job Monday, walking around, talking to the skilled craftsmen, when a piece of unistrut falls from the ceiling, hitting the ground next to me. It didn't hit me. The piece was relatively small, about two inches long, and weighed less than an ounce.
To me, yeah, something got moved, and this piece of scrap fell down. I've seen it happen many times because the building's pipes and infrastructure create crevices where something falls into an area where it can't be reached unless you uninstall the items around a machine. Better to leave the scrap there than bring a machine down to get it.
A lead foreman, however, saw it. New to his position, I assumed that he had the entire crew come down and interrogated them to find the culprit who dropped it rather than just writing it up as a near miss. He could have just asked, but he yelled. He criticized these guys right in front of me. Poking his finger in a few of the guy's chest, and the display was . Like he had something to prove.

At first, I let it slide, not my crew, not my direct guys. Yet, it's their job to get my stuff finished, and this asshole was holding up progress. Five minutes, then …eight guys were not working on my crap. I held up my hand to the guy as I approached him.
"Man, you've made your point. Do the paperwork and get these guys back up there." I said.

Then he started yelling at me. I let him rant for a minute, then I calmly said, "I'm the one in of this project, and you work for me. These guys work for me. The protocol is to file a near-miss report and coach them on preventing these things in the future. If you want to stay here, get those guys back to work. I doubt any of them knew this piece of scrap was up there. They can't see the whole length of the area they are working in. I looked up there myself, and none of them were around the area where it fell from."

"Uh…. I'll get them back up there." He said. Then he was quite cross putting them back to work. Where did this man learn his people skills? It was so unprofessional. I hung around till I heard things start moving again. His posture reminded me of a gorilla, only more .
Two hours later, I'm walking out of the plant towards my car. This big F350 backed up in a spot, and that foreman climbs up into it as I was about to leave. I'd seen that truck parked there for over a month and didn't know the driver. Mostly backs into that spot, so he can take off instead of backing up and leaving. Sometimes he has to park facing the building, again, so he doesn't have to back up to leave.

George, one of the guys he was yelling at, comes over to me as I watch his foreman drive away. The trailer hitch had what looked to be a pipe welded to the side of the hitch. George starts off with, "Heard you had a great time at *******'s party."
"Yeah, nearly got vomit on my shoes. I don't remember that foreman; is he new?" I asked him.
"New for us, but he was working southside. He's always been an ass." George says.
"I'm surprised he hasn't been fired."
"Bosses . He can't be fired. You would think he would be nicer considering how religious he is." He says.
"Religious?" I ask.
"Morman. He doesn't like us, non-believers."
"What's that cup holder like thing on the trailer hitch?" I ask.
"He has a barbeque grill that it holds. He grills directly from the back of his truck. He removes the tailgate when it's installed. The grill is oversized. He could have put an extension on it, but then it would stick out. Hard to park around here without someone running into it. "
"I want a grill on my car," I said.
"Dude, get a bigger car. That little thing would be off its front wheels with the grill he puts on his truck."
I laughed and said my goodbye, "I have to go walk a . Have a good night George."
"You too." He says.

So I got in my car, and I was thinking this foreman is a big dick. I drove down the street, turned right onto the highway, then read a marquee from the Adult store. 'Today only, vibrators twenty-five percent off."
Ha! Vibrators, dicks…I have an idea.
It couldn't possibly work. I took the next exit.
I turned around into the Adult store. I went in. There on the shelf before me was a huge big black silicone dick like it was a message from God. Twenty-five percent off, today only. Considering the length, almost inches, Jeeze the poor girl who was gonna use this, I saved her. It was really thick as the base too.
I bought it. The clerk told me I need to use some lube with it, but I declined. Man, if I worked in a porno shop, I would always be hard at work.
I placed it in my trunk of my car. In my mind, I was thinking about how I was going to do this. I grabbed some duck tape, just in case I needed it.
I slept on it the whole time that big dick was in the trunk of my car. I would giggle at what I had planned.

The next day, the guy couldn't park in his regular spot. The front of his truck was parked towards the front of the building. Nobody around….so I placed the big dick in the grill holder. There was a set screw in the holder, so I didn't need any tape. I screwed it in tight…walked back about ten feet. Took a picture of the big dildo sticking up on his trailer hitch. The black dick was in contrast to the white paint. Texted George with a picture, "Your boss is not going to appreciate you guys doing this to his truck."
I walked in. Turned off my cell. Went about the day.

I saw George in the cafeteria at lunch.
"Dude, was that you?" He asked.
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"The dildo on the truck. No one else is claiming it." He said.
"I'm not claiming it. No video, no proof it was me." I said.
"He doesn't know. We're going to see what he does in the parking lot after work. That's some funny shit. Meet us there at four?" He asked.
"Meeting, video it for me. Probably the guy that did will be with you." I said.
He nods, walks away, laughing.
So, Tuesday afternoon. I'm doing rounds, checking on some tools. The same that was being harassed is working on my shit at warp speed. They had actually gotten a full day ahead of my schedule. Goerge climbs down when he sees me.
"It's still on his truck when we went to lunch. It was you. It has to be you. Please tell me it was you." He says, smiling.
"Wow, you guys really did a lot of work today. I wasn't expecting pressure testing till tomorrow." I said. I could hear laughing right above me. Someone was listening.
"He's on the dock today, so all of us keep laughing about it." He says.
"Well, great work today. Meeting gotta go." I said and walked away.
My Meeting went well. I walked to my car at around four. His crew was on the other side of the parking lot, watching him get into his truck and pull away. They looked delighted. I drove off, followed him for a bit, and noticed something when he braked. The dildo would thump on the tailgate. I could hear the thump through my car. It didn't look like it was damaging the truck, but I wasn't sure. It was pretty soft silicone. I hadn't planned on that. It bothered me that I didn't take that into consideration. The guy's a jerk and all, but I don't want to damage his property.
Wouldn't he have noticed that noise? Well, I guess we shall see.

57FredFred 64M  
723 posts
2/9/2021 7:47 pm

Now, you have to post that picture!


SilyconBond 53M
148 posts
2/9/2021 8:35 pm

    Quoting 57FredFred:
    Now, you have to post that picture!
I really thought about it, but if anyone knows him, the internet is forever. I don't want that to follow the man. I'm told he is religious, and I feel bad that I might have crossed the line as it is.


SilyconBond 53M
148 posts
2/9/2021 8:44 pm

    Quoting  :

The internet is forever. I believe I made a mistake taking the picture. I was caught up in the moment. People can be cruel, and I think I was cruel playing that prank now.

Given enough interaction with the man, I think I could help build his people skills. Some of my relationships with the people around him should bleed over. I've worked with his team for fourteen years. Been invited to a few social events outside of work with them. My guess is his father never taught him a good social skill set.


positively4you 71F  
4358 posts
2/10/2021 1:43 pm

I think it was hilarious. Not cruel. He sounds like a real peach.


SilyconBond 53M
148 posts
2/14/2021 1:02 pm

I was doing my job Monday, walking around, talking to the skilled craftsmen, when a piece of unistrut falls from the ceiling, hitting the ground next to me. It didn't hit me. The piece was relatively small, about two inches long, and weighed less than an ounce.
To me, yeah, something got moved, and this piece of scrap fell down. I've seen it happen many times because the building's pipes and infrastructure create crevices where something falls into an area where it can't be reached unless you uninstall the items around a machine. Better to leave the scrap there than bring a machine down to get it.
A lead foreman, however, saw it. New to his position, I assumed that he had the entire crew come down and interrogated them to find the culprit who dropped it rather than just writing it up as a near miss. He could have just asked, but he yelled. He criticized these guys right in front of me. Poking his finger in a few of the guy's chest, and the display was stupid. Like he had something to prove.

At first, I let it slide, not my crew, not my direct guys. Yet, it's their job to get my stuff finished, and this asshole was holding up progress. Five minutes, then fifteen…eight guys were not working on my crap. I held up my hand to the guy as I approached him.
"Man, you've made your point. Do the paperwork and get these guys back up there." I said.

Then he started yelling at me. I let him rant for a minute, then I calmly said, "I'm the one in charge of this project, and you work for me. These guys work for me. The protocol is to file a near-miss report and coach them on preventing these things in the future. If you want to stay here, get those guys back to work. I doubt any of them knew this piece of scrap was up there. They can't see the whole length of the area they are working in. I looked up there myself, and none of them were around the area where it fell from."

"Uh…. I'll get them back up there." He said. Then he was quite cross putting them back to work. Where did this man learn his people skills? It was so unprofessional. I hung around till I heard things start moving again. His posture reminded me of a gorilla, only more stupid.
Two hours later, I'm walking out of the plant towards my car. This big F350 backed up in a spot, and that foreman climbs up into it as I was about to leave. I'd seen that truck parked there for over a month and didn't know the driver. Mostly backs into that spot, so he can take off instead of backing up and leaving. Sometimes he has to park facing the building, again, so he doesn't have to back up to leave.

George, one of the guys he was yelling at, comes over to me as I watch his foreman drive away. The trailer hitch had what looked to be a pipe welded to the side of the hitch. George starts off with, "Heard you had a great time at *******'s party."
"Yeah, nearly got vomit on my shoes. I don't remember that foreman; is he new?" I asked him.
"New for us, but he was working southside. He's always been an ass." George says.
"I'm surprised he hasn't been fired."
"Bosses son. He can't be fired. You would think he would be nicer considering how religious he is." He says.
"Religious?" I ask.
"Morman. He doesn't like us, non-believers."
"What's that cup holder like thing on the trailer hitch?" I ask.
"He has a barbeque grill that it holds. He grills directly from the back of his truck. He removes the tailgate when it's installed. The grill is oversized. He could have put an extension on it, but then it would stick out. Hard to park around here without someone running into it. "
"I want a grill on my car," I said.
"Dude, get a bigger car. That little thing would be off its front wheels with the grill he puts on his truck."
I laughed and said my goodbye, "I have to go walk a dog. Have a good night George."
"You too." He says.

So I got in my car, and I was thinking this foreman is a big dick. I drove down the street, turned right onto the highway, then read a marquee from the Adult store. 'Today only, vibrators twenty-five percent off."
Ha! Vibrators, fake dicks…I have an idea.
It couldn't possibly work. I took the next exit.
I turned around into the Adult store. I went in. There on the shelf before me was a huge big black silicone dick like it was a message from God. Twenty-five percent off, today only. Considering the length, almost sixteen inches, Jeeze the poor girl who was gonna use this, I saved her. It was really thick as the base too.
I bought it. The clerk told me I need to use some lube with it, but I declined. Man, if I worked in a porno shop, I would always be hard at work.
I placed it in my trunk of my car. In my mind, I was thinking about how I was going to do this. I grabbed some duck tape, just in case I needed it.
I slept on it the whole time that big dick was in the trunk of my car. I would giggle at what I had planned.

The next day, the guy couldn't park in his regular spot. The front of his truck was parked towards the front of the building. Nobody around….so I placed the big dick in the grill holder. There was a set screw in the holder, so I didn't need any tape. I screwed it in tight…walked back about ten feet. Took a picture of the big dildo sticking up on his trailer hitch. The black dick was in contrast to the white paint. Texted George with a picture, "Your boss is not going to appreciate you guys doing this to his truck."
I walked in. Turned off my cell. Went about the day.

I saw George in the cafeteria at lunch.
"Dude, was that you?" He asked.
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"The dildo on the truck. No one else is claiming it." He said.
"I'm not claiming it. No video, no proof it was me." I said.
"He doesn't know. We're going to see what he does in the parking lot after work. That's some funny shit. Meet us there at four?" He asked.
"Meeting, video it for me. Probably the guy that did will be with you." I said.
He nods, walks away, laughing.
So, Tuesday afternoon. I'm doing rounds, checking on some tools. The same group that was being harassed is working on my shit at warp speed. They had actually gotten a full day ahead of my schedule. Goerge climbs down when he sees me.
"It's still on his truck when we went to lunch. It was you. It has to be you. Please tell me it was you." He says, smiling.
"Wow, you guys really did a lot of work today. I wasn't expecting pressure testing till tomorrow." I said. I could hear laughing right above me. Someone was listening.
"He's on the dock today, so all of us keep laughing about it." He says.
"Well, great work today. Meeting gotta go." I said and walked away.
My Meeting went well. I walked to my car at around four. His crew was on the other side of the parking lot, watching him get into his truck and pull away. They looked delighted. I drove off, followed him for a bit, and noticed something when he braked. The dildo would thump on the tailgate. I could hear the thump through my car. It didn't look like it was damaging the truck, but I wasn't sure. It was pretty soft silicone. I hadn't planned on that. It bothered me that I didn't take that into consideration. The guy's a jerk and all, but I don't want to damage his property.
Wouldn't he have noticed that noise? Well, I guess we shall see.


SilyconBond 53M
148 posts
2/14/2021 1:14 pm

    Quoting positively4you:
    I think it was hilarious. Not cruel. He sounds like a real peach.
He and I had a serious talk on Friday. He wanted to know how I make friends so easily. Now, I feel like he is a guy drowning in social ignorance. I taught him a technique that I learned from a very wise Taiwanese woman. Something my father should have taught me. I'm more exposed to this man. I'm pulling him into my world. I didn't tell him I did the prank to his truck.


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