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Things are just weird.  

SilyconBond 53M
265 posts
1/6/2021 11:10 am

Last Read:
1/7/2021 4:13 am

Things are just weird.

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SilyconBond 53M
148 posts
1/6/2021 11:11 am

Men are weird.
Women are weird.
CIS/Trans/gay/whatever… weird.

My Christmas was insane. My New year’s eve, boring.

I spent more time with other people’s kids than my own. I took two eight-year-old girls shopping before Christmas, and I didn’t even know one of them. Do all parents shove their kids onto some stranger because he sat and watched SheRa with the other kid once or twice? I told the mother I shouldn’t do it, and her response, “Oh, you’ll be fine.” And she left. WTF?

I did get in trouble for buying the kid some boot-like shoes, but it was buy one get one free… Not my fault. I didn't know there was a rule that girls don’t wear heels before they are a teen? It was only a one-inch heel, Jeeze. Neither girl told me I couldn’t buy them specific shoes. Shopping was the only thing I could think of so I wouldn’t be alone with them. Lots of people around, sortta, and cameras. Damn Covid, I had to entertain them a lot once we got there. Being told that kids love me doesn’t mean I want to be around them. I don’t unless I have some emotional connection to them I guess.

Maybe I’m the weird one? Neither child looked like me or sounded like me. When I was asked at the checkout what their birthdays were…I said, ”Uh…sometime earlier this year?” One lady said, “Dad’s never know.” And they all laughed. “I don’t know these kids!” I said. No one in line believed me.

I guess I’m the stupid one. I held their hands in the parking lot, but they didn’t let go once we got into the shopping strip. I don’t know the protocol with other people’s kids outside of social events. Was I supposed to make them walk around not holding my hands? I think I might have had to pry their little fingers off my hands to make them stop.

So, I stopped at Walmart after the shoe store episode because I was out of soy sauce, and when we went in…. Two large burly men wearing Walmart uniforms assisted me in finding it, both had manicured painted nails about an inch long on each finger. All the gay men I know don’t have long manicured nails, so it confused me. The girls were openly asking them about their nails and if they were cis or trans. And again, “Ask your Dad.” From one of them, and they walked away laughing. How am I supposed to know? Plus, I’m not their Dad. I really don’t think either of their Dad’s would know. So I said, “Your mother will probably know. I don’t.”

I took that extra time off, and for four of those days, I had these two girls. Their moms were happy when they finally showed up near dark every day, but my mouth was dry answering questions that bombarded me. Lots of ones I couldn’t answer and ones I never will to kids. I was more exhausted spending time with them than a two-hour workout at the gym. I can’t remember volunteering for this situation, and I’m still confused. I told the security guard I didn’t think it was a good idea, and yet…day two had the whole house empty once I woke and the girls eating cereal once I woke. I called and was told…” We are just running some errands” which took all freaking day, and the next. After day four, I went back to my own house so they couldn’t do it to me again.

I saw that stupid wonder woman movie twice, and I thought it sucked the first time, but the girls loved it. Ugh.

I was asked to help pack the house of the security guard and secretary the day after Christmas. I picked up one cup, opened the cabinet it came from…then called people that I thought were my friends, and finally resorted to paying a moving company that had an open slot the next day. Eight hours packing for me, four cabinets, the next day they showed up and packed the rest of the house in two hours. I was disgusted I had wasted my time the previous day. The only thing not disassembled was my bed, which I’ll have to sell. They are moving into a smaller house in Florida.

I said goodbye to two relationships, and it felt like I was shoving an ice pick in my chest as they got in their cars for the last time before New Year's eve. I’m not crying, but…my throat constricts thinking about it.

Had it only been four or five months? It felt like only a few weeks. What’s wrong with me? I pushed the security guard to follow her dream…and she did. They will probably forget me in a month or two.

(confirmation 860684)


author51 58F
119888 posts
1/6/2021 11:34 pm

Sounds like you had a busy time over the holidays my friend and hopefully now it will quiet down for you..xoxo

You can never have enough JOY in your life....xoxo

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