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Posted:Jun 4, 2021 9:27 am
Last Updated:Jun 13, 2021 6:01 pm
1568 Views

Can’t make comments in any blogs due the fact that I can’t figure out how anymore!

BlogLand sure has changed again. (But I am just as technically challenged as I ever was)

Oh well, my comments are more like puff of smoke on a windy day anyhow…

Blog on!
6 Comments
Venus & Mars Are Alright Tonight
Posted:Nov 28, 2020 6:30 pm
Last Updated:Dec 9, 2020 6:11 am
9173 Views


So, for the past few weeks I've been spending the evening hours out on the front porch jamming to tunes while planet gazing.

Jupiter and Saturn now appear on the horizon directly in front of my position. As I am near the city, the urban lights outshine the stars, but they cannot yet take the planets from me...
13 Comments
Call Me Marlo
Posted:Nov 24, 2020 6:55 pm
Last Updated:May 30, 2021 10:40 am
9172 Views
Hi ! For many moons I have been growing out my hair in hopes of getting the lead role of Samson for the neighborhood Theatre production of Samson & Delilah. Instead, I was offered the lead in the remake of That Girl.



11 Comments
Take Me Out To The Pol Game
Posted:Jun 17, 2020 10:14 pm
Last Updated:Jun 5, 2021 4:41 pm
25088 Views
Hi !
This parody is written in honor of the upcoming Political Rally in Tulsa, and is derived from the song Take Out The Ball Game, by Jack Norworth and Albert Von Tilzer.

Take Me Out The Pol Game

Take me out the Pol game,
take me out with the crowd.
Give me some virus (I'll cough and hack),
My leader won't care if I never come back,
Let my lungs go POOT for the home team
If they don't win it's a shame.
Yet my vote won't count if I'm dead when it's out,
In the old Pol game.


14 Comments
Valley Girl Bored
Posted:Jun 11, 2020 7:25 am
Last Updated:Nov 24, 2020 8:28 pm
25374 Views
I am like, Valley Girl bored.

Gag with a spoon, totally...

13 Comments
Fat Serial-Killer Pizza
Posted:Jun 7, 2020 12:15 pm
Last Updated:Nov 24, 2020 7:38 pm
30952 Views

I was just reading about online dating wherein it was written that the man a woman most fears meeting is a serial killer.

Men, on the other hand, most fear meeting someone "fat".

A few things occurred to me then.

First, women have much less worry about since the ratio of serial killer men to "fat" females must be quite wide.

Second, it could be possible that men are rather shallow when it comes to meeting new females. (I'm not ready commit completely that one yet).

Next, I wondered what would happen if more serial killers embraced "fat" women. Would there be less killing and more large women getting dates, or would there just be less large women, and happier serial-killer men?

Finally, I decided that I was hungry and ordered a pizza. It was delivered by a large woman who asked me kill her and 4 of her friends. Jeesh!

blog on!
27 Comments
Great Quotes From A Beatles Fan
Posted:Jun 6, 2020 9:43 pm
Last Updated:Jun 10, 2020 5:16 am
25804 Views
GREAT QUOTES FROM A BEATLES FAN

I'm so tired. I'm fixing a hole eight days a week.

Two of us carry that weight because (she's so heavy).

If I needed someone, I need you.

I've got a feeling she's leaving home. (You're going lose that girl).

If I fell tell why. I'm only sleeping.

When I'm sixty-four you won't see me drive my car.

I just don't understand Her Majesty. She said she said "Why don't we do it in the road?"

All things must pass. Don't pass me by, Michelle.

Your mother should know what you're doing across the universe in spite of all the danger.

Goodnight. I'll be back. When I get home.

THE END



15 Comments
HOW HAS THIS SITE CHANGED YOUR SEXUAL OUTLOOK? (Symposium #42)
Posted:Jul 1, 2018 3:38 pm
Last Updated:May 30, 2021 10:37 am
30984 Views
Hello ! It's Symposium Time again, Number 42 in a fantastic array of blogal creativity. You can go here to see how your fellow bloggers have interpreted this subject. And the subject is.... HOW HAS THIS SITE CHANGED YOUR SEXUAL OUTLOOK?

Today's Post features two of BlogLand's best loved characters.

keithcancook

as KEITHCANADANA

AND

koocnachtiek

as MISS EMILY LITELLA



Here at The Venting Blog editorial board in the interest of fairness, we wish to allow an opposing viewpoint to our recent editorial. Tonight we are pleased to present Miss Emily Litella. Miss Litella?

What's all this fuss going around about this site changing the Sessional outlook? There are no changes here. Jeff Sessions has always been this way. While Attorney General for the State of Alabama he argued in defense of "sodomy and sexual misconduct law", and remains no friend to liberal sexual attitudes.

While Attorney General for the U.S.A. he reached into his soul and found the Christian Apostle Paul, who gave him cover as he rent whole families asunder by claiming Divine ordainment of his government's law. The Sessional outlook is clear. Jesus is an okay refugee. We would prolly let him in. Central Americans are not okay refugees. There's no room at the Inn for them. (And the stables are full). He causeth the little to suffer.

The Sessional outlook is for many to suffer. Especially if they're in pain, and require some medicinal marijuana for relief. Or if local attitudes are lenient to illegal immigrants. The residents of those cities should be made to suffer as well.

The Sessional outlook has b...

Um. Miss Litella... Excuse me, but...

Yes? What is it?

The subject at issue today is about changing sexual outlooks. Not Sessional outlooks. It’s Sexual outlooks.

Oh. Really?





Author’s Note: I am a big fan of Gilda Radner R.I.P.

11 Comments
Lions, and Tigers, and Bears
Posted:Jun 16, 2018 10:30 am
Last Updated:Jun 7, 2020 2:19 pm
31048 Views
I am here today to express my utter outrage and abhorrence to my governments' policy of separating from their parents when they reach America's border. Immigration laws should be enforced, but not in a way that deliberately traumatizes innocent , and deconstructs families. This is being done in MY NAME, and I reject it completely. I vow to do all I can to have this policy reversed immediately.

blog on!
9 Comments
What Is Afoot In BC?
Posted:May 13, 2018 5:05 pm
Last Updated:Nov 25, 2020 6:25 pm
32230 Views
What's afoot in British Columbia? Well, it aint just 12 American inches. Apparently it has 5 toes, and comes ashore wrapped in an athletic shoe. Yep, these are genuine human feet! Since 2007, 13 severed human feet have been found running up along the southern coast of BC.

What I want to know is how are the limbs ending up there? In that particular spot? There is no sole explanation for these feats of pedomotivity.

While many have hypothesized as to the origins of the mysterious feet, most remain stumped. (Those who think they know obviously refuse to be defeated). For myself, I'm not gonna leap to any conclusions, but walking back the series of events through news footage are steps you can take if you wanna try and solve the mystery. There is even a wiki page for it.

What do you guys think?



blog on!
14 Comments
Fly Me To The Moon
Posted:May 6, 2018 1:17 pm
Last Updated:Nov 19, 2020 7:58 pm
32137 Views
What sort of weather turns me on? Well, um, pretty much every sort does. I like variety in weather, so give me storms along with the calms. I imagine most folks are the same in this regard. After all, we are all but stardust in our uttermost origins. Born of the violence inherent in our universe, and perhaps inclined to violence as well.

Violence. Across the universe we find explosions, collisions, galactic births and deaths. All extreme in the violence of their nature. The universe that birthed us has been just as ready to kill us. Thus is the nature of violence.

We have been oh, so fortunate to be here on island Earth. The other orbs in the Solar System don’t give much in variety as regards to weather. If yer planet has no atmosphere, well, yer weather is pretty boring. It’s either hot or it’s cold, depending on what part of the orb you are located. This goes for Mercury and Mars.

Venus now, that is a different sort of boring. There’s an atmosphere there so you can have storms. The problem is, is that it’s all storms all the time. Definitely boring. Same old, same old forever and ever. Ditto that for Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune. Stormy, Stormy, Stormy, and more Stormy... (Hmm, I wonder if I just channeled into the president’s brain? But I digress).

Then, there’s Earth. With all sorts of weather. Let’s hope that that never changes....

Fly me to the moon. Let me play among the stars. Let me see what Spring is like on Jupiter and Mars.
~ Bart Howard 1954

Blog on!

Authors Note: This composition was prepared for the 40th BlogLand Symposium what kind of weather turns you on I hope some of you will follow the link to discover how your fellow bloggers have interpreted this subject. blog on!

15 Comments
Once Upon A Mime
Posted:May 1, 2018 3:32 pm
Last Updated:May 2, 2018 9:01 am
32048 Views
RE-FRACTURED FAIRYTALES by keithcancook

Once Upon A Mime (OR, PRESSING THE MUTE BUTTON)


Once upon a time, there was a town full of mimes. A lovely town, (though quiet). It was attractive, and I felt drawn there as if being pulled along by an invisible rope.

I spent the morning mingling with the mimes, of a mind to fit in, but alas! I was walking in a mime field. Try as I might, I could not converse. I pleaded that they have vocal chords. “Use them!” I urged.

It was all to no avail. Mimes simply cannot think outside the box. Frustrated, I kidnapped one to study. I never hurt him, mind you. Everyone knows that a mime is a terrible thing to waste, but I wanted answers. He tried twisting away from me, and wrenched his hips, but I was not amused. More like disgusted, since everyone knows that a waist is a terrible thing to mime. He did help me understand how their women acted when he cried with frustration, “They’re all thespians!”

In the end, I learned that mimes are rather simple, as well as cheap. (Give me two silent nickels and you’ll have a mime). Yet, I never fully understood them until I found myself with Dick Van Dyke and Marcel Marceau on either side of me. That’s when I finally learned to read between the mimes, and see the truth.

The End





Authors note: Many thanks to today's muse BiggLala, whose post GGG Is Not So Grrrrreat sorta-kinda inspired this composition.

(actually I hijacked her post and went off-topic because I didn't understand the nature of GGG, and hid it with humor.)

oh well,

blog on!


WANT MORE? ReFractured Fairytales 1
10 Comments

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