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Would You Like A Valium With That Stick Up Your Ass?  

mc_justmc 60M
1950 posts
4/29/2020 8:37 pm
Would You Like A Valium With That Stick Up Your Ass?

I was sitting around today, a day like any other day, minding my own business when I get a Corporate wide email. I get these a.l.l the time. Some are about work, some about management departments talking about forms and deadlines that make no sense , because I'm o.n the lowest part of the scrotum pole, some are about retirement or birthday parties for people I don't know because the company employs about .5K or more people.

So, today I get a mass email from company HQ reminding us to inform HR for any possible Covid contact or infection, yet again. We get this one, or one like it about 3 times a week. Today, there were responses, it's late afternoon, everyone has been sitting at home day, bored, possibly drinking, who knows. For some reason people responded today. Here's how the responses went:

Susan XXXXXXXX- Fuck it , I quit!!!
Laura XXXXXXXX- That language is NOT tolerated and unnecessary!!
Susan XXXXXXXX- No Fuck it! I;m gonna make more money as a stripper, anyway. Besides, I'm usually coked most of the day, every day!!
Laura XXXXXX- This needs stop immediately!!!
Brenda XXXXXXX- OMG, it's still happening!!!
Me- This is better than anything o.n TV!!! hahahahaha
Tom XXXXX- Bahahahaha!!!!
My location foreman- stuart, you need to stop responding to this email, this is going company wide and Susan xxxx's email has been obviously hacked.
Several other people continue to respond with pleas to "just stop responding", and the responses to that keep begging people to "stop responding"

So, after Tom XXXXX responded and validated my joke I was laughing and enjoying my "no longer boring" day. But after my location foreman directly instructs , by name, in front of my audience of .5K or more people, it kind of sucked the wind out of my sails. As embarrassing as THAT was, somehow I knew, I just knew this wasn't over.

So, from that point , I could feel that ever growing stick in my butt getting longer and thicker. Then it happened, about an hour later, my corporate HQ foreman calls . Apparently, the director of operations saw my comment on the email and wanted it passed on to me that it was not acceptable behavior on my part and we do not respond to corporate emails, EVER!

Really? I get phone THAT phone call. I thought maybe the director was gonna invite me over to his BBQ next weekend to do a stand u.p routine. I thought my comment was the perfect comedy relief at the perfect time. There was tension in that email from the moment Susan or whoever hacked Susan's email said "Fuck It". I got the feeling my corporate foreman might have felt that way, too. I got the feeling he was pissed off, pissed off about having to make that call. This place might consider handing out prescription for Valium with ID badges and keys. That or get over themselves.




mc_justmc 60M
6145 posts
4/29/2020 8:43 pm

>>! There's your >>! stick up your >>! butt for the >>! day. Now get your keys and let's go to work!


smartasswoman 62F  
33014 posts
4/29/2020 8:50 pm

Eek. I can remember a few 'reply all' fiascos during my working days. The best one was where a coworker thought he was forwarding a companywide announcement to a couple of friends. He went on a long diatribe complaining about the management mumbo jumbo in the administration's emails. It went to 8,000 people.

Some time after that, administration finally got smart enough to start using a blind list, so that Reply All didn't work.


redrockrascal 61M
21508 posts
4/29/2020 9:20 pm

Maybe Susan xxxxxx was quitting. I hear strippers make good $$$

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


tickles4us 58M
7194 posts
4/29/2020 9:20 pm

any sense of humor in the upper levels of corporate management gets squeezed out by the lawyers...at least when you aren't at the Christmas party...

Just tell them you had a fever....

Vive La Difference


mc_justmc 60M
6145 posts
4/29/2020 9:28 pm

    Quoting smartasswoman:
    Eek. I can remember a few 'reply all' fiascos during my working days. The best one was where a coworker thought he was forwarding a companywide announcement to a couple of friends. He went on a long diatribe complaining about the management mumbo jumbo in the administration's emails. It went to 8,000 people.

    Some time after that, administration finally got smart enough to start using a blind list, so that Reply All didn't work.
OMG, that sounds like something I would do.


CharlesD6996 50M  
212 posts
4/29/2020 10:35 pm

I'm guessing Stewart got the whole stripper pole in his ass.

Corporate really knows how to suck the air out of a room, don't they

All the best,

Post Me


tsn4fun2 44M/42F  
258 posts
4/29/2020 11:21 pm

Hahaha... there wasn’t anything wrong with your reply! In my opinion anyway! Hey... maybe THATS why I’m not in upper management! Hmmmm
LOL


jajo696 65F
2116 posts
4/29/2020 11:50 pm

Yup....this whole sequester thing has gotten to Susan......she has a better off of the pole. Im with her ~~
......and this blog post is " funnier than anything on TV"


author51 57F  
94229 posts
4/30/2020 12:25 am

Thanks for my Friday chuckles.Reading those emails would have been hilarious and most entertaining..I hope all goes well with your job....

One can never have enough JOY in their life...


lindoboy100 57M
21302 posts
4/30/2020 2:15 am

I'd have quietly given you a raise for brightening up the lives of 13,500 people!

I guess the high heid yins have to be politically correct these days, or it's lawsuit time?

I once had to pretend to censure someone for calling a Client the dick that he is. But I just told the Client there was no evidence of deliberate intent so I wasn't going to do anything further than a on the knuckles. Needless to say, he's no longer a Client. Needless to say, I'm not upset at that!

Pull ma finger.........


secret_lade 46F
3662 posts
4/30/2020 3:38 am

My favorite are the company wide emails that get sent to the administrative staff and corporate officers.... Which the market Director then forwards to the administrative staff.... Which the market HR representative then forwards to the administration staff with the words 'stay close'... Which my boss then forwards to me asking if I received it.

Really?!?


mc_justmc 60M
6145 posts
4/30/2020 4:48 am

    Quoting redrockrascal:
    Maybe Susan xxxxxx was quitting. I hear strippers make good $$$
this place is very language conscience, we can't say damn, or shit. We says poop or feces.


mc_justmc 60M
6145 posts
4/30/2020 4:49 am

    Quoting tickles4us:
    any sense of humor in the upper levels of corporate management gets squeezed out by the lawyers...at least when you aren't at the Christmas party...

    Just tell them you had a fever....
I should have told them my account had been hacked.


mc_justmc 60M
6145 posts
4/30/2020 4:50 am

    Quoting CharlesD6996:
    I'm guessing Stewart got the whole stripper pole in his ass.

    Corporate really knows how to suck the air out of a room, don't they
bunch of kill joys


mc_justmc 60M
6145 posts
4/30/2020 4:51 am

    Quoting tsn4fun2:
    Hahaha... there wasn’t anything wrong with your reply! In my opinion anyway! Hey... maybe THATS why I’m not in upper management! Hmmmm
    LOL
I'm thinking the same thing.


mc_justmc 60M
6145 posts
4/30/2020 4:53 am

    Quoting jajo696:
    Yup....this whole sequester thing has gotten to Susan......she has a better off of the pole. Im with her ~~
    ......and this blog post is " funnier than anything on TV"
thanks, daytime tv is pretty slow.


mc_justmc 60M
6145 posts
4/30/2020 4:59 am

    Quoting author51:
    Thanks for my Friday chuckles.Reading those emails would have been hilarious and most entertaining..I hope all goes well with your job....
At 1st it was shocking, every time my phone chimed with a new response I cringed, then when I thought about responding I assumed everyone would appreciate the change of direction, but nooooooo.


mc_justmc 60M
6145 posts
4/30/2020 5:02 am

    Quoting lindoboy100:
    I'd have quietly given you a raise for brightening up the lives of 13,500 people!

    I guess the high heid yins have to be politically correct these days, or it's lawsuit time?

    I once had to pretend to censure someone for calling a Client the dick that he is. But I just told the Client there was no evidence of deliberate intent so I wasn't going to do anything further than a on the knuckles. Needless to say, he's no longer a Client. Needless to say, I'm not upset at that!
Hahahahahaha, fuck that client!


Paulxx001 63M
17025 posts
4/30/2020 6:26 am

Ahhh... Corporate HQ Nobody THERE (in any company) has a sense of humour.
Least of all - those who work in HR.
Now THERE, is a prime bunch of self absorbed wet rags.
I've been a part of those corp email exchanges. A lot of fun to watch! 👍

... is there another way to look at it.
We Have Lost Forty Million Good Men WTF


mc_justmc 60M
6145 posts
4/30/2020 7:07 am

    Quoting Paulxx001:
    Ahhh... Corporate HQ Nobody THERE (in any company) has a sense of humour.
    Least of all - those who work in HR.
    Now THERE, is a prime bunch of self absorbed wet rags.
    I've been a part of those corp email exchanges. A lot of fun to watch! 👍
I dealt with this very company from the outside 30 yrs ago and I thought the attitude had changed. Obviously the stick is still firmly lodged in the usual place.


mature_951 58F  
3348 posts
4/30/2020 12:38 pm

Mc - never put it in writing!!! okay, there's my PSA for today

"You can stroke people with words."


pagancountrygirl 62F
5182 posts
4/30/2020 2:30 pm

I've been with a company where you didn't dare respond to any corporate emails. That would most likely get you fired.
At least the place I work now, I've been known to respond to corporate emails and I'm still alive and employed at the same place. lol Apparently they have much smaller sticks up their asses.

Pagan
Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!


mc_justmc 60M
6145 posts
4/30/2020 5:13 pm

    Quoting mature_951:
    Mc - never put it in writing!!! okay, there's my PSA for today
I know that now.


mc_justmc 60M
6145 posts
4/30/2020 5:17 pm

    Quoting pagancountrygirl:
    I've been with a company where you didn't dare respond to any corporate emails. That would most likely get you fired.
    At least the place I work now, I've been known to respond to corporate emails and I'm still alive and employed at the same place. lol Apparently they have much smaller sticks up their asses.
This may not be over. I put in for a few different promotions and this may squash any chances there, but fortunately another company offered me a similar position for more money right before this Covid crap started. They said they would call me with a monetary offer so I'm just gonna wait and see.


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