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On being discreet... 2/22/2014
I cannot speak for everyone, but in the case of my wife and
I discretion is an absolute non-negotiable must. Her work
is sensitive to anything that may be conveyed as "alternative"
and my work is very publicly oriented where I talk to hundreds
of different people a week. On top of that we're also
involved in the community and have a lot of friends who might
not be ready to understand. So we ...
2 Comments, 162 Views,
9 Votes
,3.21 Score
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Ever Fart by accident while getting blowjob? 2/18/2014
haha
2 Comments, 64 Views,
6 Votes
,1.37 Score
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Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen Ruin the Meal (er, uh, ruin one's head) 2/10/2014
My husband Danny is an excellent chef. If it can be grilled,
he can grille it like no one's ever grilled meat before.
If it can be broiled, he can broil it to perfection. He can
bake, fry, you name it.
However, sometimes we'll have guests coming over
for a big dinner and he needs help in the kitchen....that's
where I come in...or at least I used to.
He gave me a list of ...
4 Comments, 156 Views,
7 Votes
,4.06 Score
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funny 2/1/2014
tha ask her dad to use tha car he say wat u goin to
do for me she says idk wat do u want so he says i want a bj she
says thats sick ur my dad he says do u want tha car r not so she
starts suckin then she stops and looks at her dad and says
dad whys ur dick taste like shit so he says that reminds me
ur brothers using tha car
1 Comments, 198 Views,
9 Votes
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Foodie 2/1/2014
Urban Dictionary defines foodie as: a douchebag who likes
food; though the terms "gastronome" and "epicure"
define the same thing.
I don't remember being an asshole due to my foodism,
I have however perceived others as such when my desire for
certain foods or eateries were denied.
...which I guess does indeed make me a douchebag.
But who could resist the succulent steak ...
1 Comments, 41 Views,
8 Votes
,2.78 Score
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Bra Sizes 1/19/2014
Have u ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the
Letters used to define bra sizes? But couldn't figure
out what the letters stood for. Well its time you became
informed! (A) Almost tits. ( Barely there. (C) Can't Complain! (D) Damn! (DD) Double Damn! (E) Enormous! (F) Fake. (G) Get a Reduction. (H )Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!
10 Comments, 513 Views,
36 Votes
,4.45 Score
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Quit smoking 1/16/2014
A very smart doctor once told me that the only way for a man
to kill himself slowly over a period of 30-40 years while
spending huge amounts of moneey other than smoking was
to get married,
2 Comments, 175 Views,
8 Votes
,3.48 Score
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Maybe you? 1/16/2014
"One night, a gurney rolled
in carrying a woman in black lingerie-who happened to be
straddling a naked man. They told us that they had been doing
a lot of drugs and having wild sex when the woman's vagina
cramped up and the guy couldn't pull out. The doctor
on duty gave her muscle relaxants, and after several minutes,
they were able to separate. Then they were promptly ...
4 Comments, 323 Views,
10 Votes
,4.58 Score
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I want to know why the sexually frustrated, sexually depraved women go for my Danny 1/4/2014
Are there any other guys out there that get hit on by divorced,
sexually depraved, sexually frustrated women like my
Danny does.
I swear the boy must have the record for banging girls that
are divorced and who haven't had sex with anyone since
they split with their husbands.
Danny can relate story after story to me about how these
women, many of them cougars, seduce him and, ...
5 Comments, 354 Views,
22 Votes
,3.49 Score
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Flakes. 12/1/2013
Tell your funniest flake story!
1 Comments, 55 Views,
6 Votes
,1.94 Score
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Glitter and Sparkles 10/1/2013
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later
in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the
doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled
for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone
off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am.
The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't
have any ...
3 Comments, 278 Views,
15 Votes
,5.73 Score
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Glitter and Sparkles 10/1/2013
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later
in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the
doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled
for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone
off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am.
The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't
have any ...
3 Comments, 100 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
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Funny only now, many years later 9/27/2013
I'm in college and pick out this good looking freshman
during orientation.
That night I'm munching away on a her and suddenly get
a string in my mouth.
Yep, you guessed it.
So I stop, grab a quick, long swig from the beer bottle and
ask her if she's on the the rag.
Comes out no boyfriend had ever eating her before and she
didn't realize there was anything ...
5 Comments, 274 Views,
12 Votes
,3.51 Score
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Using One Friend to Make Another Girl Jealous, I Instead Made Them Into Lovers 8/1/2013
Sometimes our best ideas become our worst nightmares.....
Sometimes what seems like a good idea one minute comes back
to bite us in the ass the very next second.
By using Diane, my best bi-sexual friend and lover to get
Katie jealous, I instead turned them into lovers.
Katie never really left Earl, she remained married to him
for years, but Katie made love to Diane ...
3 Comments, 269 Views,
20 Votes
,4.66 Score
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A + class act 4/15/2013
we started chating in an FuckBookHookups chatroom. The conversation was going well and the young man wanted
to continue on IM Yahoo Messenger.
He told me that his name was Philip S, I can't reveal
his last name for privacy sake but it was the same name that
Winnie the Pooh lived under in his hollow tree home (wasn't
the nams Saunders???).
He said his $1400 computer cam wasn't working, ...
5 Comments, 321 Views,
12 Votes
,3.86 Score
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humor 4/15/2013
so has anyone been farted on during sex. not a sex fart but
an actual fart. it has happened to me numerous times. i almost
burst out in laughter each time. is this normal for girls
to fart during sex
7 Comments, 130 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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SEXTING 3/19/2013
Text SEX 2win a BABY. 1t per sperm. Offer ends wen some-1
is pregnant. Lucky draw will b held @ d labour ward. promosen
starts wen U make love with some-1 & ends wen U ar satisfied,
hurry now! limited partners. So get started now!
0 Comments, 142 Views,
6 Votes
,1.94 Score
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Saving someone's picture as a screensaver 2/14/2013
If someone you've only known for a few months saves
your picture as their desktop background, is that funny
or downright creepy?
4 Comments, 81 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Fun at the Gentleman’s Club 10/27/2012
Fun at the Gentleman’s Club
I have been on FuckBookHookups off and on now for several years. I have
met some great ladies and continue to be friends. A short time ago, I contacted a lady on FuckBookHookups and she stated
she was a dancer. I chatted with her and finally went to meet
her at her club. It was not one of the fancier ones in the area,
but reminded me of a club I liked in Pennsylvania. As we chatted ...
3 Comments, 368 Views,
13 Votes
,1.47 Score
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Infidelity Discovered 10/25/2012
A man was having an affair with another woman and his wife
found out about it, so she told him "If you don't
end it now I'm gonna go downtown to the post office where
you work and tell everyone I see that you're a no good
cheating filthy bum."
The husband replied "You're gonna go downtown
to the post office where I work and tell everyone you see
that I'm a no good cheating filthy bum?" ...
3 Comments, 443 Views,
19 Votes
,2.46 Score
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accidental slip 10/22/2012
alright i very much like the doggy position. as a girl is
it a big deal when a guy slips his dick in the asshole instead
of the pussy on accident.
0 Comments, 19 Views,
1 Votes
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her,or so she says 10/3/2012
watching wife having her first girl/girl 69 in the back
of our Subaru wagon . Let me set the story:i had hooked up
my buddy with this girl who was staying with shannon and
i.a mutual friend brought her over, asking if she could
stay a few weeks. she was a tall redhead , kinda thick (in
a good way)green eyes big full lips , sexy as hell and was
very open about her bi-sexuality a true ...
7 Comments, 571 Views,
39 Votes
,4.62 Score
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april fool 9/14/2012
you walk into a room and find your lover and your best friend
under the sheets both naked. when they see you, they both
scream april fool. you look at the calender and realise
its april 1st. what would you do.
9 Comments, 371 Views,
15 Votes
,3.28 Score
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IMPORTANT 8/22/2012
HUMOR IN RELATIONSHIP IS IMPORTANT AND ADVISABLE
3 Comments, 55 Views,
4 Votes
,2.08 Score
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the birthday present 7/14/2012
A young man wished to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's
birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after
careful consideration he decided a pair of gloves would
strike the right note - romantic, but not too personal.
Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister,
he bought a pair of white gloves; the younger sister purchased
a pair of panties for herself.
...
1 Comments, 67 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
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LOL(this was cute) 7/12/2012
One night a guy takes his girlfriend home.
They are about to kiss each other goodnight, but the guy
is feeling a little horny.
With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against
the wall and, smiling, he says to her "Darling, would
you give me a blow job?"
Horrified, she replies "Are you mad? My parents will
see us!"
Him: "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us ...
1 Comments, 114 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
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LOL....at the end of his rope......... 7/11/2012
One day a young cowboy and cowgirl decided to get married.
He was a man of the world. She was an innocent bride with no
experience.
After the wedding they left for their honeymoon. While
driving down the road, the new bride sees two cows having
sex.
The new bride asks, "What are them cows up to honey?"
The husband, a bit flustered, answers, "Why can't
you see? Them ...
1 Comments, 112 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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every saturday morning.... 7/11/2012
Every Saturday morning he has an early tee time. He gets
up early and eager, golfs all day long, sometimes 36 holes.
Well, one Saturday morning he gets up early, dresses quietly,
gets his clubs out of the closet and goes to his car to drive
to the course.
Coming out of his garage rain is pouring down; torrential
downpour.
There is snow mixed in with the rain, and the ...
1 Comments, 109 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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needy? 6/6/2012
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he/she
isn't there the first time you need him, chances are
you won't be needing him again.
2 Comments, 51 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
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a quote from oscar wilde 6/6/2012
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
Oscar Wilde
2 Comments, 55 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
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